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Surrivor
By Sage of Time
Survivor week #1
Authors Note: This is my first lame attempt at a fan fic
Sage of Time: Hello, and here's the contestants
Zelda
Link
Malon
Talon
Ingo
King Zora
Rauru
Nabooru
Impa
Saira
Ganondorf
Skull Kid
Mido
Biggoron
Darumina
Ruto
Navi
Running Man
Sage of Time: Any questions?
Saira: I have one
Sage of Time: Yes, what is it
Saira: What are the rules
Sage of Time: Doh I forgot
1. No fighting. That goes double for you Ganondorf
2. No kidnapping
3. No leaving unless you are voted out
Oh yes before I forget you willl be stranded a remote part of the Lost
Woods.Last one there will win
Ganondorf: Win what?
Sage of Time: either the Triforce or one million rubies.Lets begin!
Day #1
Ruto: Damnit I want to go home
King Zora: I'm hurngry
Navi: Well we have to stay here..SO GET USED TO IT
Zelda: Biggoron do you mind if you move over to another area
Nabooru: Shut the hell up Zelda King Zora and Ruto all you have done so far
is complain!!
Link: Please why can't we just shut up and work together for at lease a
minuete?
Ganondorf: Shut up you goody goody you just want Malon to like you!!!
Link: *blushing* NO YOU DO
Ganondorf: SHUT THE HELL UP
Link: See you luv Malon
Malon: Ganondorf liking me...WHAT IN ALL OF HYRULE IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION
LINK?!?!?
Link: Sorry *looks down* I was only jokeing
Malon: AWW its OK
Day # 2
Darumina: *running around* Theres no place like home Theres no place like
home. Theres no place like home
Running Man: What is he on?
Skull Kid: I think he King Zora and Biggoron have tried thoses "magic
mushrooms" that make you go crazy
King Zora: I know a song that gets on peoples nerves gets on peoples
nerves..and this is HOW it goes
Ruto: Please father your making a scean
Mido: another fun reson why I don't want to grow up
Saira: I see your point
Talon: *yawns* that was a good two day nap..ohh mushrooms
Malon: No dad don't eat those
Talon: Why not
Ingo: No reson
*Talon eats mushrooms*
Biggoron: Has any one seen my bubba?
Talon: What did it look like?
Biggoron: It was BIG
Talon: I think I saw it over there
Nabooru: Rolls eyes...men
Day # 3
Link: Ganondorf, Truth or Dare
Gaonondorf: Dare
Link: I dare you go in that log for seven minuets with....Zelda and Impa
Zelda: What!!
Impa: No way!!
Ganondorf: You ladies are just cowards
Zelda: I'll show you
Impa: I guess I'll go
Seven minuets later Ganondorf and Zeldacome out of the log smiling but Impa
looks like she can drop dead
Ganondorf *still smiling* Zelda Truth or Dare?
Zelda: Dare
Ganondorf: I Dare you to *whispers the rest in Zelda ear*
Zelda *giggles* OK
*Zelda and Ganonodorf go in another area*
Impa: Visial image...again *goes behind a tree and pukes*
45 mins later Zelda and Gaonodorf come back smiling again
Zelda: Link Truth or Dare
Link: *thinks hard*.....TRUTH
Zelda: OK you wuss Who you love here?
Link: Thats easy myse-
Navi: She means a girl dumb @$$
Link: Malon
Link: Ruto,Truth or Dare?
Ruto: Dare
Link: I dare you to french Rauru
Ruto: Damn you Link damn you *frenches Rauru*
Ruto: Ingo, Truth or Dare
Ingo: *thinking about unplesent thoughts to you and me* Dare
Ruto: *grins evily* I dare you to cut those eyebrows
*everyone snickers*
Ingo: Takes sissors and cuts his eyebrows*
Ingo: Malon *still thinking unpleasent throughts* Truth or Dare
Malon:(who knows Ingo too well) Truth
Ingo: Who do you LOVE?
Malon: ....umm..well..Li..umm......Link?
*Link smiles*
Malon: Nabooru Truth or Dare
Nabooru: Well...truth..no dare
Malon: I dare you to kiss Ganondorf for 1 minute
Nabooru: *starts shaking* God no
Malon: You have to
*Nabbooru and Ganondorf start kissing and 55 seconds laterNabooru turns pale
and runs back to her seat*
Nabooru: .........Saira......truth....or...dare
Saira: Truth
Nabooru: ..Do..you..like..Mido?
Saira: No
Day # 4
Ruto:Have you seen Link?
Daurmina: No
Ruto: Have you?
King Zora: Why?
Ruto:*Flashback back from last night*
Running Man: So are you and Link going to get married
Ruto: Yes we are
Link: NOOO *runs away*
Ruto: Wait Link
*end of falshback*
You know last night when Link ran away and I haven't found him since
Ganondorf: How brain dead can you be? Link does not want to marry you!!
Ruto: NO..YOUR LIEING
Ganondorf: After Link ran away
*another flash back*
Link: I hate you ..I'll never marry you!!
Ruto: Thats funny now come back
*end of flashback*
Ganodorf: The bottom line is Link hates you!
Ruto: *Stoems off crying* No this is NOT FAIR!!
*Link comes out from behind King Zora*
Link: Thanks for driving her off
Ganondorf: Thank you for paying me
Day #5
A/N I'm running out of Ideas
Navi: I'm bored
Link: Me too
Skull Kid: Lets tell secrets!!
Ganondorf: Fine whos first?
King Zora: Once I took a bit out of Jabbu Jabbu
Skull Kid: I stole Majoras Mask..again
Link: One time when Talon was asleep I wrote over his face
Zelda: I am Skeik
Link: We know that
Ruto: I have a shrine deticated to Link
Link: AAAHGGGHHH *runs away*
Nabooru: I use people for their money
Ganondorf: I don't want to kill everyone..just Kaperora Gabeora
Rauru: You know I am him
Saira: I want Rauru dead
Mido: I love Saira
Biggoron: I'm a bad stalker
Running Man: I'm addicted to steriods
Talon: I'm really Mairo
Malon: I want Zelda killed
Navi:I posined the Deku Tree and killed it
Ingo: I'm Lugi
Daurima: I smoke rocks
Malon: I give my father sleeping pills
Impa: I know who Link's parents are!!
Nabooru: I know too!
Rauru: I hate life
Day #6
A/n its offical I'm out of Ideas
Ruto: I hate you all
Rauru: Die
Navi: I'm so tempted to have some of those "magic mushrooms"
Skull Kid: Who wants to hear a joke
Link: Me
Skull Kid: Why did the cucoo cross the road
Malon: To get the other side?
Link: To run away from that Cucco Lady
Ganondorf: To kill Link!!
Skull Kid: All wrong
Link: To kill Ruto
Skull Kid: thats right
*Link yawns*
*Malon looks forawad*
*Ruto twitches eye like a mad man*
*Navi flies around*
*Malon sighs*
Day #7
a/n I finally got another idea!
Navi: I'm bored!!!!!
Zelda lets tell add on stories untill Sage of Time gets here you have to say
only six word when its youturn OK?
Ganondorf: One day at Lon Lon Ranch..
Skull Kid: Link was on Epona when Malon..
Link: Asked him to try this new..
Malon: Kind of milk it was called
Navi: Cactichu Lon Lon and it could
Zelda: .Give Link unfident magic for three..
Saira: Centuries so Link took the milk
Ruto: But Ruto came along and then
Ingo: went to see The Great Ingo
Nabooru: When she saw his face she
Running Man: dropped dead and Link drank the
Daurmina: Magical Milk and then he went to
King Zora: Lake Hylia and he went swimming
Ganondorf: Then a storm started and Link got
Link: out of the lake and went
Malon: Back to Kokir Forest to get his
Biggoron: Handy Dandy Bombers Notebook to spy
Zelda: On Zelda and Malon when they
Impa: were cussing each other out when
Link: he decided to see what was
Nabooru: happening in Gerudo Valley when Rauru
Impa: came along and being the drunken
Zelda: basterd he is he hit Link
Malon: So Link knocked him out and
Link: Decided to get the triforce
Ganondorf: Link then bombed all Gorons and
Zelda: went to kil Rauru after he
Ruto: Unfroze Zoras Domain by killing umm
Nabooru: Ruto then he went to the
Running Man: Running Man for the golden sadnwich
Link: Then went to the Temple of
Malon: Time and played Back Here Baby
Zelda: By BB Mac on his Ocarina
Ganondorf: then Kaperora Gabeora swoopped down
Impa: Then he threw a genderade at
Saira: him. He will get pissed and rip off
Mido: The he will rip off Zelda's
Link: Hand then he gives him the
Malon: Magic word that can get him in
Ganondorf: The Sacred Realm then he meets
Navi: Rauru who makes him fight a
Running Man: 300 ft tall Ooompa Loompa
Link: after it dies he gets the
Malon: Triforce and it is so super extremly
Zelda:Smelly when he touches it heals
Malom: wounds but however it just
Ganondorf:shrunk Link's will to live on
Talon: the pluse side his best best
Link: Buddy Ruto disengreates killing her forever
Malon: Finally all is well in Hyrule
Later that evening
Sage of Time: So who do you vote out
Link: Ruto
Zelda: Rauru
Malon: Ruto
Ruto: Navi
Navi: Ruto
Rauru: Link
Ganondorf: Ruto
Impa: Rauru
King Zora: Ruto
Saira: Rauru
Mido: Ruto
Nabooru: Rauru
Talon: Ruto
Ingo: Rauru
Biggoron: Ruto
Daurmina: Rauru
Skull Kid: Ruto
Running Man: Myself
Sage of Time: So lets see
Running Man- 1 vote
Ruto- 9 votes
Navi- 1 vote
Link- 1 vote
Rauru- 5 votes
So that means Ruto your out
Ruto: WHAT!!?!?
Link: C-ya
Sage of Time: Untill Next week good by
*Grabs Ruto and drage her out
Ruto: Let me go *tries to hit her with no luck*
Surivor Week # 2
A/N: In case you don't know by now Sage of Time is my made up character
Sage of Time: Heres a short recape of what hapaned the last week
Zelda: You know!?!?!
Sage of Time: Well duh..I'm kinda a sage dumb @$$
Zelda: Oh god no..*thinks if she knows what happen ALL of Hyrule will since
she is the biggest gossiper I've meet*
Sage of Time: Don't worry I only told the Happy Mask guy
Zelda: *thinks* HOLY SHIT NO!!
Sage of Time: OK
Day 1- MOST of you complained..like non stop
Day 2- You guys tried the magic mushrooms..you know who you are
*coughTalon,KingZora,BiggorronDaruminacough*
Zelda: DON'T GO ON!!
Sage of Time: Why?
Zelda: I said so now get the hell outta here
*Sage of Time leaves scratching her head and mumbeling hateful things about
Zelda*
Day #8
Sage of Time: *sneeks up on Ganondorf* HI
Ganondorf: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO YOU DO THAT FOR??
Sage of Time: I don't know
Link: Do you have the tribes?
*Sage of Time whips out a peice of paper*
Malon: Read it!!
Sage of Time: Wolfo Tribe
Link
Malon
Ganondorf
Nabooru
Saira
Impa
Skull Kid
Navi
Running Man
Guay Tribe
Zelda
Ingo
Talon
Rauru
King Zora
Biggoron
Daurmina
Rauru
Mido
Zelda: Bull s@#$! how could I get on that team
Sage of Time: Not my fault I don't like any person on Team Guay
Mido: So you were picking favorites?
Sage of Time: Sure was
Zelda: *whispers to Mido* great shes a gossiper and aperson who picks
favorites
Sage of Time: I heard that..damn I got to go..wait till day #10 till I have
my revenge..*goes off*
Navi: I think shes screwed in the head
Link: Most likely
Sage of Time: I heard that..
Link: @#$#
Navi: HEY watch your lanuage
Day # 9
Zelda: I'm SO hungry
Link: Me too
Navi:I wish we had a TV..
Ganondorf: and a computer
Malon: With internet acess
*Link stands up and clears throut*
Link: uhum..in case you haven't noticed or your brain dead TVs computers
with internet acess hasn't been imvented yet..because A. This storyline
takes place in the mid evil times *mumbles dumb @$$es* and B. This is a
VIDEO GAME dimwits! Obviously the person who made us up Mr Miyamto or
something like that wanted us to SUFFER by not adding a lill luxery in the
game!! *sits back down*
King Zora: O-K..
Biggoron..whats a video game
Daurmina: Duh..what did he say again?
Day #10
Sage of Time: OK today each tribe will have to complete a task. The losing
team and the winning team will have to vote one person out OK?
Link: Why do both teams have to sacfrice a member
Sage of Time: The author of this fan fic is too damn lazy to make 16 more
weeks!
Link: Oh
Sage of Time: The task for Tribe Wolfo and Guay is they have to....umm they
have to..Opps I forgot to make up a task..
*Everyone sweatdrops*
Sage of Time: *thinking* OK you guys and gals will have a staring contest
*an echo can be heard*
Impa: That echo came from where?
*Each team starts staring*
Two Seconds Later..
Sage of Time: Rauru..you blinked
Rauru: Shit
1 second later A/N they can't last three seconds with out blinking thats sad
Sage of Time: Skull Kid, King Zora, and Zelda you blinked
Skull Kid: I'm getting Majoras Mask and the Giants unless I can still be in
Sage of Time: *gulps* O-OK *thinks every 50 seconds I'm going to tell who
blinked*
49.59 seconds later
Sage of Time: Everyone execpt Biggoron, Darumina, and Navi haven't blinked.
Biggoron: Blink..*blinks* whats that?
Darumina: and how do you blink?
Sage of Time: *smaks head* don't tell me they forgot how the hell to
blink..oh you Biggoron your out
*Link makes sure no one is looking and thros a pebble in Darumina's eye
Daurmina: *still no blinking and shows no sign that a pebble in stuck in his
eye yawns*
Navi: Oh god..
*Daurmins cloes eyes when yawns*
Sage of Time: Dummy
Darumna: Yes?
Sage of Time: Your out..Navi why didn't you blink?
Navi: Isn't it obvious..I'm a three inch of glowing mass that can't blink
Sage of Time: 'cuse me..
Later that evening
Impa: Who dose those Later that <insert text here> thing
Sage of Time: No clue I can only do that echo thing..
*Tatl comes out* ME You dinglebats ME! *goes back behind..somewhere*
Link: I'll be damned I thought she did that day 12345678910 thing
*Dark Link comes and smacks Link upside his head* Can't even reconize your
own voice..Now I know that saying a dumb blonde is ture *pulls hair out and
leaves*
Nabooru: Wha' just happen
Sage of Time: *sighs* well we just have to vote everyone out tomorrow oh
well
Dark Link: Day #11
Sage of Time: Hello Wolfo Tribe who do you vote out?
Link:..Gaonondor..no RUNNING MAN!
Ganondorf: Link, lill shit almost voted me off
Malon: Well..Navi
Navi: Malon shes usless
Link: HEY LISTEN!!
Navi: Thats MY line..
Saira: Well Malons pretty usless..Sorry Link but she is
Nabooru: Ganondorf!!
Impa: MALON shes a usless pile of Lon Lon cow shi-
Malon: Please Stop it...
Skull Kid: Impa she cusse too much
Impa: You mother fuc- *pulls out Chiken Soup for the Cussers SoulI*
Running Man: Link
Sage of Time: Sorry Malon...but your out. Impa can I borrow that bool
Impa: Go to hell
Tatl: A few mins later
Sage of Time: IMPA PLEASE LEMME SEE THE BOOK?
Impa: When I'm done
Sage of Time: Guay Tribe you know the drill
Zelda: Biggoron
Ingo: MARIO!! ughh I mean Talon
Talon: ZZZzzzZZZZZzzzzzz*blows bubble* Z-Ze-Zel-Zeld-Zelda
Rauru: YO MAMMA..*rembers he is a usless old man* Zelda
King Zora: Zelda I HAVE TO BE THE ONLY ROYALTY HERE!!
Daurmina: Me Daurmina hungry Me Daurmina eat
Sage of Time: I'll take it that he voted himself out
Mido: Zelda
Sage of Time: *smirking..Zelda our outta here*
Zelda: NOOOOOOOO LINK SAVE ME
Link: @#%^ off and I hope you don't fall on your royal @$$!
Dark Link: Day # 12
Link: Dude
Saira: Dude
Ganondorf: Dude
Mido: Dude
Navi: HEY
King Zora: You need to say Dude...you look like a pickle..can I eat ya?
Navi: Dude!!
Tatl: This is boreing after this I'm grabbing some lunch..one day later..
Dark Link: Day #13
Link: Wazz up Dark Link
Dark Link: Psst I can't be here
Link: I understand
Running Man: You got some killer ins-
Link: Is Sage of Time watching
Navi: I don't think so..
*Link pulls out sword* Don't you dare start...
Dark Link: *sighs*..HEY AUTHOR CAN'T YOU MAKE THE DAYS A SLIGHT BIT LONGER?
Tatl: A voice comes out of nowhere and wadda you know its the author..If you
don't know the author by now your so dumb..like Daurmina..When did I become
narrator
Kayla: Since a second ago..wait I'm not supposed to be in this *checks
script..I'll be damned I'm am..well might as well state what I wanna say
*clears throut* I AM THE AUTHOR AND I CAN SAY WRIGHT WHATEVER THE HELL I
WANT *pulls out Chiken Soup for the Cussers SoulI like Impa has* I BID YOU
FAREWELL *echos* *vanishes*
Impa: she can do that cool echo too..damnit why can't I?
Sage of Time: Who do you want off just whisper it in my ear..so I can get
back to the Temple of Time and do nothing..
*everyone whispers in Sage of Time's ear*
Sage of Time: OK OK Darumina your out
Well Till next week Buh Bye
*drags Daurmina off*
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